A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
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