I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
