guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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