Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize