I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
