piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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