Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
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