apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
