I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
