I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
