I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
