the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
