Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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