hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Randomize