meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
