For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
