If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
