He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
