is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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