Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I need water and some morals
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
