How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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