I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
