I hate your face
What did we do last night that was yellow?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize