Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
