you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Randomize
