you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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