Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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