TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
lets start a swedish sibling band together
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
His hands were made for my vagina.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Randomize
