I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I wish you could order shots online.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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