Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
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