p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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