quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
