I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
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You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
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I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
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