3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
