You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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