you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
