I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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