I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
