i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
