This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
