i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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