im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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