were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
