well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
