Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16