Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?