i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
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I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
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Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am