I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Randomize
