hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
