is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
If I die, sorry about rent.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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