so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
