I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
May the power of my ass compel you!!
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
