yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
