Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize