my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
