Sry I called you an 8
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
