stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Ladies don't puke and tell
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
