when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
