how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Randomize
