i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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