Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
