i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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