i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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