hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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